As everyone that is reading this post knows, Ray was a talented man.
I am sure that everyone of us could tell a story or share a memory of something he said, or did, that would prove he was talented.
He was a naturally gifted artist. That was evident to anyone that knew him back in the day. He could draw or sketch some of the most intricate pictures. He seemed to always be doodling something in that big drawing book he carried around. We would always tell him how good the work was, and he would always say it was a hobby.... something he did to pass time. Deep down inside it was something he was passionate about, but not something he would brag about. That was Ray, right? Always beyond GREAT, but never able to accept it.
When Ray started "dabbling" in music, it was a whole new outlet for him. He had a voice, and he was using it. He made crazy character outfits, and became his own personas. Ambrosia Salad, anyone? Ray undoubtedly was ahead of his time... he could spin a song out in an evening, and it would be the most soul seering thing you ever heard, and he would say something crazy like, "I was just thinking about rain and how it makes the air smell funny, and I wrote this song." I could listen to the CD of his music all day. I can listen to the lyrics, and think of 100 things that he could have meant from each line. He could paint a mental picture that no one else could. There is emotion in the words, and in a way some of them are eiry, like fate knew something we did not.
Unfortunately, fate is something that we can not escape. She is an evil witch and on occasion she rears her ugly head.
If there was one thing about Ray's talent that I could share, it would be his ability to make you think you were his best friend. I have read hundreds of posts about Ray. Entries from his blog on the bipolar site, clips of his stage shows, memories of the things he shared with all of you. The things that make you smile, cry, and sometimes yell out loud. But everyone of them share a common link... the way he had of really listening to a person, and giving every person his undivided attention and compassion. It was like every person he met was his best friend. Like each time he talked to you he was truly bearing your burdens and sharing your joy. It's the reason so many people loved him, why we all miss him.
In remembering Ray, we decided to do what we thought would be a great way to keep the "artist" in Ray alive. We decided to start theNigelproject. Everyone knows where Ray started. In the "sleepy" little town of House Springs, at a typical high school. He was an adequate student with the artistic streak you couldn't believe. He wore "goth" clothes and listened to alternative music. He was a normal teenager trying to find himself. To honor that start, we are selling the "Radio Jesus Loves Me" and "The Veil" tshirts, along with the bracelets, with the hopes of raising $500.00 to give a scholarship to a senior at the high school where Ray started. So, if you are looking for a way to "Remember Ray" We would really appreciate your support. Just check our Facebook page for the link. It would be a fitting tribute to the man we all loved to be able to help the next "Ray" get started to find themselves, because paying it forward is what life is all about, and it would make Ray very proud.
All that mushy stuff,
Beulah
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Oh, you're the normal one...
So, I met Heather, and then Ray, during my junior year at NHS.
The funny thing is I can remember the exact place and time.... it was 2nd hour, and I was in English in Mrs. Bagsby's class. Heather was the "helper" that hour, and Mrs. B thought that if she introduced us, we would hit it off. I am not sure why she would think that, since I am sort of the main streamer, and Heather has always been a little off the path.
Obviously, I had seen them in passing in the halls. They were sort of hard to miss, with the great big combat boots, and the graceful Doc Martins. I was more the flip flop kinda girl, but back when they were not so cool. I would have loved to wear the boots or the Docs, but it just wasn't me.
Long story short, we got along smashingly.
Heather introduced me to Ray the next day, between 6th & 7th hour out on the now infamous block. He called Her Evanne and it was pretty cool.
He was intimidating, long legged and as skinny as a nail. He had half a head of hair that was 5 inches long, and half a head of razor stubble. He was sporting his official "uniform" of long skater style shorts with pockets, and a great big long sleeved tee, and of course those ugly combat boots.
He looked at my shoes, sighed and said...
"Those are the most normal shoes I have ever seen..... They give me the creeps."
I had never been creepy a day in my whole 16 years of life, and in a way, it felt cool for the creepy kid to think I was.
I said, "Thanks, your boots are ugly."
He said, "I know, isn't that cool, they are finally broken in. You should get a pair."
Secretly, I wished I had a pair. (Once, when he fell asleep on the couch at Heather's house, we took turns putting them on and doing impressions of him, and we sang Cure songs while we wore them, and he woke up and caught me in them.)
I made a frown face, cause I was too cool for the boots...
and he said, "I am gonna call you Beulah, cause it seems so normal."
And that was that.
After that, Ray and Heather took me under their awkward wings, and introduced me to the rest of their friends. Every time they would always look at my shoes.
Before they could say anything, Ray would say, "This is Beulah...."
And they would say, " Oh, you're the normal one..."
So, here is my side note:
Nigel, I miss you terribly, and wish that we could banter back and forth about all the crazy politics and where we stand on religion. I wish that you were here to make fun of us, and poke fun at my shoes.... But mostly, I wish that I could put those boots on and stomp around in them and do funny impressions of you and that you would wake up and catch me and say.... "What do you think you are doing? I sound nothing like Robert Smith...."
All That Mushy Stuff,
Beulah
The funny thing is I can remember the exact place and time.... it was 2nd hour, and I was in English in Mrs. Bagsby's class. Heather was the "helper" that hour, and Mrs. B thought that if she introduced us, we would hit it off. I am not sure why she would think that, since I am sort of the main streamer, and Heather has always been a little off the path.
Obviously, I had seen them in passing in the halls. They were sort of hard to miss, with the great big combat boots, and the graceful Doc Martins. I was more the flip flop kinda girl, but back when they were not so cool. I would have loved to wear the boots or the Docs, but it just wasn't me.
Long story short, we got along smashingly.
Heather introduced me to Ray the next day, between 6th & 7th hour out on the now infamous block. He called Her Evanne and it was pretty cool.
He was intimidating, long legged and as skinny as a nail. He had half a head of hair that was 5 inches long, and half a head of razor stubble. He was sporting his official "uniform" of long skater style shorts with pockets, and a great big long sleeved tee, and of course those ugly combat boots.
He looked at my shoes, sighed and said...
"Those are the most normal shoes I have ever seen..... They give me the creeps."
I had never been creepy a day in my whole 16 years of life, and in a way, it felt cool for the creepy kid to think I was.
I said, "Thanks, your boots are ugly."
He said, "I know, isn't that cool, they are finally broken in. You should get a pair."
Secretly, I wished I had a pair. (Once, when he fell asleep on the couch at Heather's house, we took turns putting them on and doing impressions of him, and we sang Cure songs while we wore them, and he woke up and caught me in them.)
I made a frown face, cause I was too cool for the boots...
and he said, "I am gonna call you Beulah, cause it seems so normal."
And that was that.
After that, Ray and Heather took me under their awkward wings, and introduced me to the rest of their friends. Every time they would always look at my shoes.
Before they could say anything, Ray would say, "This is Beulah...."
And they would say, " Oh, you're the normal one..."
So, here is my side note:
Nigel, I miss you terribly, and wish that we could banter back and forth about all the crazy politics and where we stand on religion. I wish that you were here to make fun of us, and poke fun at my shoes.... But mostly, I wish that I could put those boots on and stomp around in them and do funny impressions of you and that you would wake up and catch me and say.... "What do you think you are doing? I sound nothing like Robert Smith...."
All That Mushy Stuff,
Beulah
Monday, November 7, 2011
Nigel and Evanne - Team Siouxsie or Team Bob?
Okay, so for me I cannot listen to Siouxsie without then listening to The Cure.
This was a point of contention between Nigel and I for 24 long years.
He was firmly convinced that Robert Smith was a douche. I, on the other hand, did not. Okay so we didnt use the word douche...but poser, no talent hack, coattail rider, not cool...you get the idea. DOUCHE. I however, being the lover I am could love Siouxsie and Bob. However, if you asked me whom I preferred, well I am always going to be a Cure fan. He would flop on my floor and fall over every time I played Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me or Disintegration, and say "I'm so over it" and sigh over and over ABOVE THE MUSIC. I dont know about any of you, but man, I always gave in. I loved seeing his delight when he had a "triumph of his will".
One fall day - I can't even say hallowe'en because it wasn't...it was just a brilliant idea that came to me - Year?? I think 1991...Nigel was getting dropped off at my house. I had everything planned. I teased up the Shroom - a'la Bob circa 1982 - short puff ball sprayed to stick out. It had major height...and width..and pokeyoutey pieces
Man, AquaNet was the shizz.
I eyelinered/darkened up my eyes and smeared some of Aunt Susie's reddest lipstick all over my lips with avant garde abandon.
Bob...
I was awesome...This is the look I was going for.... I wish I had a photo.
I dressed in black with tennies and a huge black icky sweater...Laying in wait for him. Reeking of the tangy scent of CFC ozone destroying aerosol spray...
oh the horrific joy to have him shrink back in terror...to be greeted by the door by BOB!
He pulled up...I peeked out the side window and just...as...he...was...coming...up...to...grab the knob...
I yanked open the door and started howling LOVE CATS...
My darling boy looked at me with sheer terror...and took off down the driveway at a full run...
I in full BOB drag...could be heard singing ---- so wonderfully wonderfully pretty.... rowr! LOOOOOOVE CATSSSSSSSSS.
After we ran about 50 yards (running wasn't fabulous, not with his height and my two left feet) we stopped and inbetween pants... he told me that I was much prettier than Bob, but I sang worse.
We walked back to the house on Glen Drive, keeping our lit cigarettes from my flammable hair.
Sorry Nige, I'm still Team Bob, but I agree...he was cool when he was with Siouxs.
See...he still liked to poke me.
I miss you and love you so.
This one is for you................................
Never forget(Team Bob)
Luv, evanne
This was a point of contention between Nigel and I for 24 long years.
 |
| Siouxsie vs. Bob |
One fall day - I can't even say hallowe'en because it wasn't...it was just a brilliant idea that came to me - Year?? I think 1991...Nigel was getting dropped off at my house. I had everything planned. I teased up the Shroom - a'la Bob circa 1982 - short puff ball sprayed to stick out. It had major height...and width..and pokeyoutey pieces
Man, AquaNet was the shizz.
I eyelinered/darkened up my eyes and smeared some of Aunt Susie's reddest lipstick all over my lips with avant garde abandon.
I dressed in black with tennies and a huge black icky sweater...Laying in wait for him. Reeking of the tangy scent of CFC ozone destroying aerosol spray...
oh the horrific joy to have him shrink back in terror...to be greeted by the door by BOB!
He pulled up...I peeked out the side window and just...as...he...was...coming...up...to...grab the knob...
I yanked open the door and started howling LOVE CATS...
My darling boy looked at me with sheer terror...and took off down the driveway at a full run...
I in full BOB drag...could be heard singing ---- so wonderfully wonderfully pretty.... rowr! LOOOOOOVE CATSSSSSSSSS.
After we ran about 50 yards (running wasn't fabulous, not with his height and my two left feet) we stopped and inbetween pants... he told me that I was much prettier than Bob, but I sang worse.
We walked back to the house on Glen Drive, keeping our lit cigarettes from my flammable hair.
Sorry Nige, I'm still Team Bob, but I agree...he was cool when he was with Siouxs.
See...he still liked to poke me.
I miss you and love you so.
This one is for you................................
Never forget(Team Bob)
Luv, evanne
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Nigel & Evanne Memories: Random Siouxsie...
I was listening to Face to Face (you tube)
I remember Nigel and I were happy that it was so heard like on the RADIO...being on the Batman Soundtrack... and kinda feeling that sellout vibe.- Okay, well, I may have said something like that and he gave me that look... It could scream...how dare you..or Whaaa? or in this case... TAKE IT BACK.
I, of course, rolled my eyes.
He would say something like "never dare to blaspheme the holy Sioux"
Then we spent like an hour trying to hit those notes at the end ( you'll neverrr knoooowowowowowohuh!) ... I think my cat TheEeevilMurray hissed and hid under the bed.
I, out of the two of us, could butcher a note like nothing you have ever seen. He never complained. He did say I sang better than Kelly. (ha)
Needless to say I never tried out for any musicals at NWS. My windows are rolled up when I am belting out a tune in the car...no need to scare the chillens.
It was never enough Siouxsie...never enough, rewind, rewind, rewind (check), fast fwd, (check) and repeat (yes kids, we had cassettes - we was PO!)
WHY DO YOU THINK WE MADE MIX TAPES?? Convenience. Plus, the ffwd/rew was a skill you had to master. He was really good at it. I sucked. He had those long artistic fingers...I have stubby garden gnome sausages.
So kids...IMAGINE THE THRILL OF pushing ONE button - Repeat -
Dear G-d CDs were the most amazing thing. When Istole.. borrowed...snuck off with... requisitioned Scott Peters' CD player boombox... that sucker went into my car with 17 D cell batteries.
It was our PRECIOUS.
We scoured Vintage Vinyl. Waiting to score that victory item..the elusive Siouxsie CD.
So today, when I was listening to my Siouxsie Playlist (itunes mix tape)...
These were the lyrics that made me look over in the passenger seat and remember him singing.
Face to Face - Siouxsie and the Banshees
Another life
another time
We're Siamese twins writhing intertwined
Face to face
no telling lies
The masks they slide to reveal a new disguise
You never can win
it's the state I'm in
This danger thrills and my conflict kills
They say follow your heart
follow it through
But how can you
when you're split in two?
And you'll never know
You'll never know
Nigel...remember? Singing to me and to her.
holding the cd player like a baby so you could get that "surround sound"
never forget.
evanne.
I remember Nigel and I were happy that it was so heard like on the RADIO...being on the Batman Soundtrack... and kinda feeling that sellout vibe.- Okay, well, I may have said something like that and he gave me that look... It could scream...how dare you..or Whaaa? or in this case... TAKE IT BACK.
 |
| That Look..you know the one. |
He would say something like "never dare to blaspheme the holy Sioux"
 |
| I sent this to him in an email when I converted to Judaism |
I, out of the two of us, could butcher a note like nothing you have ever seen. He never complained. He did say I sang better than Kelly. (ha)
Needless to say I never tried out for any musicals at NWS. My windows are rolled up when I am belting out a tune in the car...no need to scare the chillens.
It was never enough Siouxsie...never enough, rewind, rewind, rewind (check), fast fwd, (check) and repeat (yes kids, we had cassettes - we was PO!)
WHY DO YOU THINK WE MADE MIX TAPES?? Convenience. Plus, the ffwd/rew was a skill you had to master. He was really good at it. I sucked. He had those long artistic fingers...I have stubby garden gnome sausages.
So kids...IMAGINE THE THRILL OF pushing ONE button - Repeat -
Dear G-d CDs were the most amazing thing. When I
It was our PRECIOUS.
We scoured Vintage Vinyl. Waiting to score that victory item..the elusive Siouxsie CD.
So today, when I was listening to my Siouxsie Playlist (itunes mix tape)...
These were the lyrics that made me look over in the passenger seat and remember him singing.
Face to Face - Siouxsie and the Banshees
Another life
another time
We're Siamese twins writhing intertwined
Face to face
no telling lies
The masks they slide to reveal a new disguise
You never can win
it's the state I'm in
This danger thrills and my conflict kills
They say follow your heart
follow it through
But how can you
when you're split in two?
And you'll never know
You'll never know
Nigel...remember? Singing to me and to her.
holding the cd player like a baby so you could get that "surround sound"
never forget.
evanne.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
SUPPORT theNigelproject - ADORE HIM ~ ADORN YOU
 |
| Cotton/Poly Blend - so nice... |
First, I want everyone to know that theNigelproject has the full support of the family.
Before our endeavor, we asked permisssion, and everything we do is CLAIR approved. We love you, ClairMom!
This originally started with hearing so many wanted Radio Jesus Loves you teeshirts...well, why not help Ray's legacy?
People already ask me about the fish... I get to talk about my Nigel and about our project and how deadly serious the GBL and GHB issue is. They don't even know about it! Let's stop this thing before it becomes an epidemic!
EMAIL ME and I will send you a PAYPAL LINK - still working the BUTTONS.
WE ARE ORDERING AS ORDERS COME IN FOR THIS FIRST WAVE...
As orders come in, we will be letting our printmaker know.
IMMEDIATE FAMILY - DO NOT BUY A TEESHIRT...We got you.
We will need at least a week for the orders to process and we can ship or make them available at the Celebration of Ray's Life - The family is still identifying a date. It will be out far enough to let those in NOLA be able to come. We want to see some ShimSham family represent!
We are currently working on identifying ART to scan and provide prints or canvases.
If you have a piece of his and would be willing to let us scan it...EMAIL us.
We want to help the family with ANY Expenses. His Art and Music will help.
We also are going to be offering bracelets... I for one, can't wait to get one of these puppies on. Hell, I might even wear 6 at a time! These are $5.00 and I should be receiving them in a few days.
I'm working on the paypal links and if you want to preOrder - shoot us an email at thenigelproject@gmail.com
Working nonstop to make a difference...
luv,
evanne07 & beulah PT
Oh, you may want to know who evanne07 (Heather Kobin) and beulah PT (Cathee Mayher) are?
And why are Heather and Cathee calling themselves these names?
They were given to us by Ray.
One of us was the Best Friend and the other was The Getaway Driver.
We are some of the multitude that loved him best.
NOW~ back to work.
Before our endeavor, we asked permisssion, and everything we do is CLAIR approved. We love you, ClairMom!
This originally started with hearing so many wanted Radio Jesus Loves you teeshirts...well, why not help Ray's legacy?
People already ask me about the fish... I get to talk about my Nigel and about our project and how deadly serious the GBL and GHB issue is. They don't even know about it! Let's stop this thing before it becomes an epidemic!
EMAIL ME and I will send you a PAYPAL LINK - still working the BUTTONS.
WE ARE ORDERING AS ORDERS COME IN FOR THIS FIRST WAVE...
As orders come in, we will be letting our printmaker know.
IMMEDIATE FAMILY - DO NOT BUY A TEESHIRT...We got you.
We will need at least a week for the orders to process and we can ship or make them available at the Celebration of Ray's Life - The family is still identifying a date. It will be out far enough to let those in NOLA be able to come. We want to see some ShimSham family represent!
We are currently working on identifying ART to scan and provide prints or canvases.
If you have a piece of his and would be willing to let us scan it...EMAIL us.
We want to help the family with ANY Expenses. His Art and Music will help.
We also are going to be offering bracelets... I for one, can't wait to get one of these puppies on. Hell, I might even wear 6 at a time! These are $5.00 and I should be receiving them in a few days.
I'm working on the paypal links and if you want to preOrder - shoot us an email at thenigelproject@gmail.com
Working nonstop to make a difference...
luv,
evanne07 & beulah PT
Oh, you may want to know who evanne07 (Heather Kobin) and beulah PT (Cathee Mayher) are?
And why are Heather and Cathee calling themselves these names?
They were given to us by Ray.
One of us was the Best Friend and the other was The Getaway Driver.
We are some of the multitude that loved him best.
NOW~ back to work.
Starting with my favorite!!!
go now... listen.
Beulah PT
PS update from evanne07
- we are working with Vinnie to get some music on CDBaby and then you can DOWNLOAD from itunes!
EVEN MY FAVE - VEIL!
If you don't have itunes, we will be offering CDs too.
At Clair's request, all ART prints (COMING SOON!!!) and MUSIC downloads will be split between the family (40%) and theNigelproject (60%). to help someone follow in Ray's footsteps and to FIGHT these terrible TOXIC substances.
THE CASE ISN'T CLOSED!
We have work to do!
Remember....
 |
| and so does theNigelproject |
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